Igba Nkwu: inside the Igbo traditional marriage

The Igbo traditional marriage is called Igba Nkwu, the wine-carrying. It's a warm, proverb-filled ceremony that turns two families into one, and its centrepiece is one of the loveliest moments in any Nigerian wedding.

Iku aka: knocking on the door

It begins with iku aka, "to knock on the door". The groom visits his prospective in-laws with his father and elders, introduces himself and his people, and formally states his intention to marry their daughter. He's asking permission, and the visit opens the conversation between the families.

The families, the list, and the bride price

Next come the discussions, including the bride price (ime ego). It's important to understand this is not a purchase. It's a token of respect and gratitude to the bride's family for raising a woman of virtue, wrapped in laughter, proverbs and gifts. The wider family, the umunna, has a real say throughout.

Igba Nkwu: the wine finds its owner

On the main day, the bride kneels before her father, who hands her a cup of palm wine and tells her to find the man she intends to marry. She carries it into the crowd, with friends and well-wishers playfully trying to distract her, and searches for her groom among all the faces. When she finds him, she sips, then offers him the rest. He drinks, and with that the two are joined. Hand in hand they return to her father, who blesses them and declares them husband and wife.

The colour and the regalia

• The bride wears coral beads and jigida, a George wrapper and a richly embroidered blouse, often with a fan.
• The groom wears the isiagu (the lion-head tunic) and the red cap of a titled man.
• Highlife music, and food like isi ewu and nkwobi, carry the celebration into the evening.

Doing it justice from far away

The wine search is a moment people fly home for, and the one relatives abroad most hate to miss. Stream it, put the knocking, the traditional and the church on one link, and let far-flung family give and celebrate in real time. Nno: everyone should feel welcome, wherever they're watching from.